I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
