You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
