So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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