i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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