I wannas sexs uuuuu
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
