I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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