census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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