I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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