talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
