I'm going to jail i love you
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
