When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
