Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
