My room smells like vodka and shame
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
