all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
