You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
