he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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