he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
