I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
