i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
