No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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