I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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