Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
