PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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