you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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