OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
