How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
