Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
