i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
