I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
