my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
