one two three fourrrrnication!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
