i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Porn is love you can see.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
