I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
