is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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