dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
