I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Im part way to drunk.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
