tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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