Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
