Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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