he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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