It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
