I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
