my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
