So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
it was like eating out sand paper
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
