At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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