Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
