Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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