He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
