dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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