what if every blade of grass was a penis?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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