yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
