So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
